Day 23: Understanding who you are.... really

Wow... been awhile, hasn't it? I guess the normal thing would be to start out by apologizing, but in truth, I am glad for the delay. Because I have had to sort through what I am going to share here. So if an apology is needed... I'm sorry.
This is a bit of a long read... but what I share here was vitally important for me in the process of finding out why I am here on this planet.

The last blog post was about discovering the spiritual gifts that God has implanted in each of us. The results of my tests have been that I have prophecy, teaching and administration happening for me. Now these gifts can be applied in almost any situation. Prophecy isn't about telling the future. Biblical prophecy is more "forth-telling" than "fore-telling". Prophecy is being able to speak God's mind into a situation - kinda like a "Thus saith the Lord" deal. Teaching and administration are pretty self-explanatory, they are pretty much what the words mean. People who have gifts like these in operation tend to really excel in these arenas. Lots of people teach, but those who have the spiritual gift of teaching tend to really take it to the next level, seemingly able to connect with just about anyone and to take incredibly complex subjects and make them understandable and doable. Same with administration. Life is full of administrators... but when God's version is implanted in someone they have an innate ability to really see the big picture and to order things in a way so as to fit into that picture. And they like it... no - they love it.
At the outset, the three gifts mentioned, teaching, prophecy and administration seem to be the perfect triumvirate for a preacher. In fact, many great preachers indeed have these three gifts operative. But just because you have these gifts happening in your life makes you a preacher? Not hardly. I tried to be a preacher. And a Worship pastor. And a Bible school teacher. On paper, qualified for all. In reality, not so much.
In addition to knowing the spiritual gifts residing in us, we also need to know who we are. What kind of person are we? What is our temperament? This is important.
Gary Smalley has a personality test he has devised. A copy of it can be found at  the following url:
http://www3.dbu.edu/jeanhumphreys/SocialPsych/smalleytrentpersonality.htm

In this test, we are on a path to discover if we are like one of four animals: Lion, Beaver, Golden Retriever or Otter.
Here is a summary of their characteristics; positive on the left side, and negative facet on the right.

Lion

Temperament Characteristics

Likes authority. ………………...Too direct or demanding

Takes charge……………….…..Pushy; can step in front of

others

Determined. …………………... Overbearing

Confident. …………………..…. Cocky

Firm ………………………...…...Unyielding

Enterprising. ……………..….... Takes big risks

Competitive. ……………….….. Cold blooded

Enjoys challenges. …….…..…..Avoids relations

Problem solver. ………….….... Too busy

Productive. ……….……….…... Overlooks feelings; do it now!

Bold. …………………….……... Insensitive

Purposeful; goal driven…..….... Imbalanced; workaholic

Decision maker. ………….….... Unthoughtful of others' wishes

Adventurous. ………………… .. Impulsive

Strong 'willed …………………...Stubborn

Independent; self reliant ……....Avoids people; seeking help

Controlling. ……………………...Bossy; overbearing

Persistent. ………………….….. Inflexible

Action oriented. ………………...Unyielding

"Let's do it now!"

Otter

Temperament Characteristics

Enthusiastic. ……………….…… Overbearing

Takes risks. …………………..… Dangerous and foolish

Visionary …………………….……Daydreamer

Motivator. ……………………..… Manipulator

Energetic. ……………………….. Impatient

Very verbal. ………………………Attacks under pressure

Promoter. ………………………… Exaggerates

Friendly, mixes easily…………… Shallow relationships

Enjoys popularity…………..….…. Too showy

Fun loving. …………………..…… Too flippant; not serious

Likes variety. ………………..…… Too scattered

Spontaneous. ……………….…… Not focused

Enjoys change. ………….……..… Lacks follow through

Creative; goes for new ideas. .…..Too unrealistic; avoids details

Group oriented. ………….….…… Bored with "process"

Optimistic………………….….……Doesn't see details

Initiator. ………………….….…….. Pushy

Infectious laughter……….….…… Obnoxious

Inspirational……………….…..…. Phony

"Trust me! It'll work out!"

Golden Retriever

Temperament Characteristics

Sensitive feelings. ……..…….… Easily hurt

Loyal. ………………………….… Misses opportunities

Calm; even keeled. ……….….… Lacks enthusiasm

Nondemanding ………….…...… Weakling; pushover

Avoids confrontations. .………… Misses honest intimacy

Enjoys routine …………….…..…Stays in rut

Dislikes change. ………….….… Not spontaneous

Warm and relational. …….….… Fewer deep friends

Gives in. ……………….……...… Co-dependent

Accommodating. …….…….…… Indecisive

Cautious humor. ……….….…… Overly cautious

Adaptable. ……………………..… Loses identity

Sympathetic. ………………..…… Holds on to others' hurts

Thoughtful. …………….………… Can be taken advantage of

Nurturing. …………….………..… Ears get smashed

Patient. …………………………… Crowded out by others

Tolerant. ………………….……… Weaker convictions

Good listener. …………………… Attracted to hurting people

Peacemaker. ………………….… Holds personal hurts inside

"Let's keep things the way they are."

Beaver

Temperament Characteristics

Reads all instructions. ….….…… Afraid to break rules

Accurate………………….………. Too critical

Consistent. ……………….……… Lacks spontaneity

Controlled. ……………….……… Too serious

Reserved …………………………Stuffy

Predictable. ……………………… Lacks variety

Practical. ………………………… Not adventurous

Orderly…………………….……… Rigid

Factual…………………….…..….. Picky

Conscientious. …………….…..… Inflexible

Perfectionistic …………….………Controlling

Discerning. ………………….…… Negative on new opportunities

Detailed. …………………….…… Rarely finishes a project

Analytical. …………………………Loses overview

Inquisitive……………………...…. Smothering

Precise. ……………………..…… Strict

Persistent …………….………...…Pushy

Scheduled. …………………….… Boring

Sensitive. ……………………...… Stubborn

"How was it done in the past ?"

It's not enough to know you have a hammer in your toolbox. Does you no good if you are trying to build watches. Likewise  - if you have jewelers screwdrivers in your toolbox, it's kinda foolish to show up at a construction site expecting to get much done. And - to carry this analogy to its limits... if you love to work in the outdoors you will be miserable being an accounting temp. And if you absolutely LOVE working with numbers, being on a road paving crew won't be your cup of tea.

Throughout my life, I have been a sailor, electronics technician, communications engineer, LAN/WAN design engineer, worship pastor/leader and professional musician. But it has only been as a professional musician - as it currently is happening in my life - that I have found my niche. This square peg has found a square hole to plop down into. Why didn't the other jobs work out as well? Because my temperament wasn't really suited very well. I did well in all those other jobs, as my skillsets served me well in each of them. The difference is that today, I am in a place where all my spiritual gifts are used to their maximum, and my temperament is ideally suited. I know the tools that are in my toolbox, and I know where I am to be using them. I am an otter. And I am in a good place.
You have to know yourself.
So..... take a spiritual gifts test. Find out what tools God has put in the toolbox called your life.
Then take a personality test of some kind - like the Gary Smalley test. Understand more about who you are. With those two items under your fingertips, you increase your chances of being effective and fulfilled.
Mr G

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Day 22: Vision part Deaux... what's in the toolbox?

What's in the Toolbox?

As I mentioned in my previous blog on day 21, my former pastor Rodney H challenged me  to develop my vision statement. The first step down that path was to look in my "toolbox" to see what tools I had available to accomplish whatever it is that God has me on this mudball called earth to do. Doesn't it make sense that the God of this universe would supply me with what I needed to do whatever it is He wants me to do? What are the tools that God gave me? For me there were three things:

1. Spiritual Gifts  - those special abilities given to each Christian by our Creator to accomplish His will through us.

2. Abilities and aptitudes... beyond those specific spiritual gifts mentioned in the Bible, the tendencies, temperament and abilities of an individual. How do you respond to different situations? What skills do you possess? Carpentry? Music? Art? Engineering?

3. Circumstances... look around you. Where do you always seem to find yourself? Look at relationships - what kind of people seem to gravitate towards you? Where are you living?


The rest of this blog post will deal with item #1 - Spiritual Gifts.

The Bible tells us that God distributes gifts to all of us - look in 1 Cor 12,13 and 14 for the discussion Paul the Apostle is having with the Corinthian church. Not everyone gets the same gift(s), because not everyone is called to do and be the same thing. Now - lots of folks weird out a bit when you start a conversation like this, and somebody almost always bring up the subject of speaking in tongues. They will have a problem with it, because it does indeed seem a bit weird. And based on that, they throw out the baby with the bathwater, as the saying goes, and (many times) dismiss the topic of the gifts mentioned in 1 Corinthians altogether. For the sake of brevity, let's blow right past that one - and save it for another conversation at another time. It doesn't figure into my story, anyway, and I have no energy to enter into that conversation right now. I believe every gift from our God listed in Pauls' letter to the Corinthian church is valid and has its place in the Church. Remind me later to perhaps address the topic of tongues in another blog.

There are tests that have been written that ask a battery of questions that, when analyzed, give an accurate description about which gift(s) are at work in a believer. Just Google "spiritual gifts test" and look into what you find. Answer the questions and look at the results.

I took a Spiritual Gifts test after I had the conversation with Rodney. I had also taken several of these throughout the years and the results have always been very consistent.  I would recommend that you take several  spiritual gifts tests over time. For me, these top three gifts have always shown up when I take these tests... Teaching, Administration and Prophecy.

1. Teaching - an innate ability to communicate difficult topics is a manner that is clear and understandable.

2. Administration - the ability to bring order out of chaos, to schedule and, well... administrate. (I know it is bad form to use a word in a definition of the same word, but well - there is no real special extra spiritual definition for this word, as it is what it is). Not everybody has this gift, though many could use it, methinks.

3. Prophecy - one of the weird ones that folks tend to get all wrong, or get bent out of shape over. This gift isn't about telling the future - it's about speaking God's mind in a situation. It's all about knowing God's Word to the extent that when confronting a situation or person you can begin a sentence by saying "Thus says the Lord..." and then say what God says. It's not about foretelling as much as it is about "forth-telling".

The first time I took a Spiritual Gifts test and these results showed up, I jumped up and down... God wants me to be a preacher!!!! These three gifts are a pretty typical set of spiritual gifts that you would expect a pastor to possess, and I suspect that most pastors do indeed have these gifts operational in their lives.

However, knowing what the tools are in your toolbox and knowing what to build with them are two different things. Anybody who knows me knows I am NOT a preacher. What happened? Did I miss the boat when I pursued a career as a United States Navy sailor followed by another career as an IT engineer followed by a career as a musician?

First - God made it abundantly clear to me years ago that my becoming a pastor or even a worship pastor was totally out of the picture. I will you that story sometime. Suffice it to say, God spoke with a very loud and unmistakeable voice back in 1985 (or so). Second -  He has also made it abundantly clear that I am doing EXACTLY what He wants me to do now - be a music teacher. Hmmmmm.

The Spiritual gifts I possess as a Christian are indeed part of the puzzle, but they by no means tell the whole story. They are the tools in my toolbox that I  use every day as I pursue the fulfillment of the vision God has put in front of me.

In the next two blogs I will bring in the other two items that God used to help me craft my vision statement - my aptitudes, abilities and temperament and my circumstances.

I am such a tease... I know. But it is late and I must toddle off to the land of nod.
Blessings!
mr G

Day 21: Where there is no vision....

Proverbs 29:18
Where there is no vision, the people perish....
Another translation says 
"Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained..."


When there is no vision - no forward-looking-goal-seeking-attitude - in a persons life, there are no boundaries and/or borders. You might say there are no restraints. You might go so far as to say that if you have no vision you are unrestrained.... oh wait... that's already been said. In Proverbs 29:18! 


So  - let's put wheels on that verse and see how it drives around, kick the tires a bit and check out the ride.


I had a meeting with a pastor/mentor about 7 years ago and he asked me two very simple questions:
1. Why are you on this planet?
2. What are you gonna do about it?

This was his way of saying I needed to develop a "Vision" statement for my life and a "Mission" statement for my life. His reasoning for walking me down this road was to give me boundaries, a framework (if you will) within which I can make decisions. You see, I had come to Rodney and told him how crazy my life was. I am a self employed musician, and I was taking advantage of every opportunity that came along to make a dollar. On the surface, that makes sense. But in reality, before long you can become like a hamster on one of those spinning wheel-thingies. Going real fast, but getting nowhere. I had become that hamster. Ergo - those magical two questions - "Why am I here" and "What are you gonna do about it". Their scientific names are "Vision Statement" and "Mission Statement".  
Rodney told me that once I answered those two magic questions, then the framework was in place to help me say yes or no to "opportunities" that presented themselves. He went on to remind me that the enemy of   excellence was not "bad", but "just good enough". And if I spread myself too much, I would accomplish alot of "good enough", but sacrifice excellence in the process.
Without a vision for my life, I would be unrestrained... running this way and that, accomplishing nothing but keeping myself really busy. That was a pretty good description of my life back then.
If I could nail down why God has me here, then I could (with God's help) lay out a plan to work His plans for me. That was the challenge.
 Nailing down God's vision for my life took some time, alot of counsel and some tests. I will cover that on my next blog-post. But suffice it to say that "God knows the plans He has for us - they're good plans - not evil.." (Jeremiah 29:11); and wouldn't it make sense for US to know the plans He has for us? I'm not talking about knowing the future - I prefer NOT to know much about that, to be honest. But I can tell you that knowing the task He has for us to do NOW is a very advantageous thing. That knowledge (or vision, if you will permit) gives you boundaries - it restrains you. And that is NOT a bad thing. 
There are boundaries in my life due to the fact that I am married. There are certain activities that are easy to say "no" to because of the boundaries and restraints on me due to my being married. I like those boundaries and restraints. They keep me out of trouble. Anything that helps me make a wise decision is a good thing for me.
So the next blog will deal with how I arrived at my personal "vision statement". It changed my life. It focused my life. It focused my future. It guides my present. It brings peace into what may appear to be a difficult decision. It set up boundaries for me to run between. And I am off that stupid hamster wheel-thingie.




Mr G out.

Day 20: I love you

Pretty powerful words - "I love you". I doubt if a day goes by when my wife and I don't say those words to each other.  And every time we speak with our grown kids, we tell them we love them. Every time I see Millie the Wonder-Dog, I tell her I love her.
Here is what occurred to me today - My wife knew 35 years ago that I loved her. After all, I told her so. How stupid it would be for me have never spoken those words to her again- because after all, didn't I tell her I loved her in 1976? Those words are food for her soul. She like to hear me say those words. My kids like me to say those words. My dog likes it when I say those word. And they NEVER get tired of hearing me say I love them.
About 15 years ago, I took a trip to Russia to play a series of concerts and to work in some orphanages. I was going to be gone for about two weeks. I arranged with a local florist to send my wife a bouquet of flowers every day that I was gone. So even though I was not able to call her during my time away, I managed to tell her I loved her through a stranger with some flowers.
So as I just finished reading my blog posts (nineteen of them!), I realized how often God has affirmed to me that I am doing what He wants and that He loves me through students, parents, colleagues,my family and even complete strangers. You see - I can't see God... physically. But He still manages to communicate to me His love for me... kind of like the way I did with my wife way back when I was in Russia. And the message is ever the same..."Paige - I love you. I love it when you play guitar. I love it when you teach. I love how you connect with kids." Every time a parent or a student or a stranger tells me any of these things, it's like that florist showing up with a bouquet of flowers at my wife's classroom. A complete stranger being used to communicate my love to my wife.
The message never gets old. The words never fail to encourage.
I love you.
Pretty powerful stuff.
Mr G

Day 19: Full Tilt Boogie!

Wow... where does the time fly off to? Oh well - glad I'm not trying to blog every day like I started out to do. I know, I know - I said I would try to look each day and see what God was doing and share. But the truth is - I am going full-tilt boogie (as I used to say in the '70s) and between college (oh crud! got another paper due tonight!!!!!), teaching ... (awww man - gotta get ready to bludgeon my kids with a test tomorrow) and all that life is tossing at me right now, when I get home at the end of a day, my pillow calls my name and I drop off to sleepy-by land. But... I am still here, God has indeed been present every day and visible, so let me give you the highlights since my last post:

1. I got a glimpse of what love looks like. I get a chance to go into deep thought with all the driving I do when I am traveling to a school to teach. I was thinking about 1 Cor 13 - the "love" chapter in the New Testament. The thought hit me - I know what loves look like. I see it every day when I wake up in the same house with the same woman I married almost 35 years ago. There is almost no greater comfort than to know when I come home, she is there. There is no greater comfort than knowing that she would defend me to her last breath, that she is mere seconds away from helping me in any way she can. And she does this by choice. She chooses to be this way. And I would do the same for her, and indeed it IS my choice to live my days with this woman. That's what love looks like. I cannot imagine waking up and her not being there.

2. I get confirmation almost every day concerning my vocation. It seems I hear about or from current or former students almost every week who are now involved in teaching music, leading worship, or going off to study music in college, recording an album - gosh, you name it. And when I heard a young man tell another student of his (he didn't know I was listening) that "Mr G taught me all of this - and this is important, so you need to pay attention..." I almost started crying. I really needed to hear that. And when I heard from a former student that he just got hired to teach at a private academy and wanted me to know  that he got accepted because of what he knew and also because they knew he had been a student of mine... wow. Break out the crying towels.

3. I have learned to quit saying "I can't" and to stop giving credence to those who tell me I can't do this or that thing. I have loved jazz for years, especially the songs from songsmiths like Gershwin, Rogers and Hammerstein etc. I have assumed for years that to play solo guitar gigs performing jazz tunes like these was out of my reach. Others have told me that I couldn't realistically expect to do this - especially since I only seriously started studying guitar seriously a little over 10 years ago. After all, I am almost 55 years old  - isn't that a bit late to get into playing a genre that is as complex as jazz? I don't know exactly when the idea occurred to me to quit listening to idiots tell me what I can or cannot do. But I know this... I have now played two solo jazz guitar gigs, the audience loved it, I was ecstatic, and am no longer listening to naysayers. I am finally taking my own advice that I hand out to young musicians all the time; namely that the contest in music is not between players of differing skill levels, but instead is between the artist and himself. After a gig - ask these questions... did you like what you did? did the audience like what you did?

So there you have it - you are now caught up with the life of Mr G. God has shown me that I am living in the middle of what love looks like (1 Cor 13); that I am in the middle of His plans for me and that I am making a difference (Jeremiah 29:11); and that I can indeed do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13).
It is truly epic being me right now. I kind of dig it.
Be encouraged and be blessed!
Mr G

Day 18: Shared Joy

Ok - just got the news yesterday that my wife and I are expecting!!!!! A grandchild, that is. A granddaughter, to be more specific.

I personally find it amazing how God has set things up, allowing us humans a peek into the Creator's joy, when a single cell from each partner in the marriage combine to bring forth a child that will contain traits and likeness of both mother and father. Kind of like when God said in Genesis "Let us create man in OUR image..." and so mankind has traits of the Trinity within it. And just like my son's son and soon his daughter will at times reflect their mother or their father, so it is with us. At times we reflect certain aspects of God's character and form. Sometimes when Roran (my grandson) turns his head this way or that, or smiles in a certain way, it's like looking at my own son (Rorans father) when he was a baby. It's easy to see that he is the son of my son.  And I expect the same will be when my granddaughter makes her appearance in June of this year. At times I am sure she will reflect her mother... and at other times her father.  And the joy this will bring that house is akin to the joy our heavenly Father must feel when He sees us reflecting this part or that part of His character. When we act charitably, and love unconditionally; when we give with no thought of benefit or return; when we respond in true righteous indignation when our Father's Name is sullied or misused - all this comes to mind as I look at the picture of my grandson today and anticipate seeing my granddaughter in the very near future.
I am so grateful to the God I bow my knee to that He gives us this gift of seeing our children and then our children's children come into this world. I am in awe and very much in love with this God Who creates... and then lets us share this joy.

Joy is a good word.  It's the perfect word for how I feel right  now.

Mr g

Day 17: heroes

Heroes come in many shapes and sizes and mean different things to different people. I have had a few in my life. When I was little I would fight to the death if ANYONE dared to suggest that Superman could possibly be less cool than Batman... I mean, come on... is there really a contest between the son of Krypton, and a really rich guy with cool toys and a neat utility belt... ok - he had a cool car too. But Superman was the bomb-diggity of all super heroes. Conversations would get heated back when I was 10 or so. Superman was my first hero. Others would follow - there was my dad, who was so big and strong when I was a wee little one, and got so much smarter as the years rolled on. By the time I was a father of my own two children, my dad had achieved genius status.
I am sparing with my hero worship - not many applicants make it into my personal hall of heroes.

Having said that, however, I have recently installed one other honoree... Johnny Cash. And this was a result of a couple of conversations with students this last several weeks. Isn't it a bit of a hoot that I get paid to teach, and then get educated by my students? That seems to happen so often.
I am teaching a class on the impact a few artists have had on Pop music in the 20th century. In one of the classes, we discussed Johnny Cash - within the context of a discussion of how truly great songs seem to transcend genres. Case in point - so many Beatles tunes have been performed by Ska bands, Reggae bands, symphonic orchestras etc. In fact, I am currently working up some Beatles tunes as jazz guitar solos. As part of the discussion, I had them listen to a song from Johnny Cash's last album... a song called Hurt. This is a song that Mr Cash covered by a band called Nine Inch Nails. We listened to the NIN version, and then listened to Johnny Cash's version. I asked them for their input, and as usual, got some very insightful comments. One of them mentioned that in the NIN version, you got a real sense of the evil power addiction has (the song is about drug addiction). NIN use alot of ambient effects and some real dissonant accompaniment - their performance of the song really does give you the creeps. Then we listened to the Johnny Cash version...Johnny's version has his voice, an acoustic guitar, a piano and a violin.... compared to NIN, this is a really stripped down version. But the impact that Johnny Cash gave to it was powerful. After his version was done, someone said something to the effect that where NIN's version gave you the sense of the pure evil of drug addiction, Johnny Cash's version gave a real sense of the despair from an addicts point of view...NIN's version seems to show the power of the drug, and Johnny Cash gives the tragedy from the addicts point of view....  using the same lyrics. This led to a conversation that went down several paths - one where one student asked "Why was Johnny Cash - a country star - listening to a Nine Inch Nails tune?"Great question... one of the things I try to get across to my students is that great musicians listen to EVERYTHING. Country stars don't just listen to country music. Metal musicians don't just listen to Metal music. Real musicians listen to everything. That thought was driven home to that one student when he asked that first question. That led another student to mention that it was pretty neat that someone like Johnny Cash would respect an artist like Nine Inch Nails who was so different from him. That led someone else to say that it was pretty brave for an established country star to step so far outside his genre to get a tune to record.
I proceeded to tell them some of what I knew about the life of Johnny Cash. How he fought drug addiction his entire life - even as a Christian. I told them that this was the last album he recorded before he died. I asked them if it were possible that he knew his time was close, and if he had given thought to what would be something important to say if it were indeed the last thing he WOULD say. Of course I don't know for sure if that was the case.... but for someone who never completely won the battle against addiction, I can certainly see why the message of the song "HURT" would be an important one to him. Here are the lyrics:

"Hurt"

I hurt myself today 

To see if I still feel 

I focus on the pain 

The only thing that's real 

The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting 

Try to kill it all away 

But I remember everything 

[Chorus:]

What have I become 

My sweetest friend 

Everyone I know goes away 

In the end 

And you could have it all 

My empire of dirt 

I will let you down 

I will make you hurt 

I wear this crown of thorns 

Upon my liar's chair 

Full of broken thoughts 

I cannot repair 

Beneath the stains of time 

The feelings disappear 

You are someone else 

I am still right here 

[Chorus:]

What have I become 

My sweetest friend 

Everyone I know goes away 

In the end 

And you could have it all 

My empire of dirt 

I will let you down 

I will make you hurt 

If I could start again 

A million miles away 

I would keep myself 
I would find a way

The more I thought about it, the more my already considerable admiration for Johnny Cash grew.

So - Johnny Cash has earned a place in my personal pantheon of heroes.

As a Christian man (which I believe he was) he never quit. He fell, got up and kept swinging. He sang about what he believed, and he didn't let himself become conformed by the world he lived in. He was always known as a bit of a rebel in Nashville, and he was so NOT perfect. But in truth none of my heroes are perfect - what's there to be heroic about if it all comes easy? Being heroic is all about facing unimaginable odds and finding a way to persevere and perhaps even to conquer. Johnny Cash was just doing his best to emulate Jesus, Who is the greatest Hero of all. And yes - Jesus is in my Hall of Heroes. Just in case you were wondering.


Mr G

Day 16: I Never REALLY Liked Resolutions Anyway...

Resolutions in Congress are pretty useless. Some politicians get together and say"Let's resolve to say we don't like Figgy Pudding.... or this tax. or the entire socks and sandal movement sweeping America thanks to that troublemaker in Georgia - the inestimable Mr G!" Ok - so they didn't say any of that... but their resolutions, no matter how noble, accomplish nothing, really. Well, the same is true of my resolutions. I resolved to blog every day.... sounded good, but dudes and dudettes, this old man got exhausted, my soft comforter on my bed called my name ever so sweetly, my flannel sheets and flannel pillowcases whispered my name just loud enough for me to hear and I was lost - a prisoner of flannel sheets and a soft comforter that held me in their gentle grip these last few nights.
But I'm back! Therefore I am making a new resolution... I hereby resolve to therefore make no resolutions  resolving to do anything about any resolutions made, past or present. Wow... already broke that resolution. See how helpless I am? I am a victim of my own resolute nature.

Ok - on to more serious matters. This last Saturday, I had a dream gig come true. I got to play Jazz standards for four hours at the Chick Filet at Barrett and Hwy 120 for the Father-Daughter day. It was a dream for the following reasons:
1. I love Gershwin, Rogers and Hammerstein etc. And I got to play so many great tunes as a solo artist.
2. I got to use only my Macbook (for my guitar tone) and my iPad for the accompaniment tracks within an app called iRealBook - over 900 jazz standards with accompaniment tracks using real sampled instruments (Bass, piano, drums) and not cheesy midi substitutes. It was a superior sound. No amps... woo hoo!!! A small PA, my Macbook and the iPad. I took up very little room and it was easy schmeezy set up and tear down.
3. Being primarily a bassist who has only started playing guitar seriously this last 10 years or so, I know my limitations and I know I am not  a complete jazz guitarist. But I am a musician who loves these tunes and I wanted to find out if I could pull off a gig like this and not do dishonor to the genre or myself.

Well - the owners loved it, the patrons loved it, a cow danced with several of the young ladies there with their dads, so I counted it as a win.

I faced what was for me a formidable challenge and won!!!!

I love to teach music, and I believe I am pretty good at it, but teaching music and performing it to a degree that is acceptable to the listener and myself is a different matter. I still need to be stretched and challenged and pushed even after 40+ years after I made my first dollar as a musician.

I guess the one big thing about what happened Saturday was the simple fact that the God I serve knew my love for this music and my desire to one day to be able to perform it for an audience, and this job was a gift straight from Him. I did not solicit the gig, in fact I wasn't looking to play jazz ANYWHERE on my own on guitar (especially not on guitar!). But this was one of those "friend of a friend" deals. A friend of mine asked me of I would consider doing this for a friend of hers, and I said yes... and the rest is, as they say, history.
I am not so arrogant as to say that now I am a jazz artist. But I do know that I can play some of it without shaming those who are, in my eyes true jazzers. So what am I? A most fortunate child of a God Who gives good gifts to His kids, Who deposited a love for these tunes by the great songwriters of the 20th century into my heart , and Who moved events in such a manner that I found myself actually playing a solo jazz gig for an appreciative audience.
How cool is that?
Mr G

day 15: Bucket List

        ok - just watched the movie "Bucket List". Loved it - as I love anything that makes me think big thoughts about life or about God. The story is about two completely different men, one white, one black. One enormously wealthy, one a middle class auto mechanic. They have two things in common - they both have terminal cancer, and the same hospital room. In the course of meeting and getting to know each other, they start writing up a "bucket list" - things they wished to do before they died. During the course of the movie they see and do some pretty amazing things - go to Everest, the Taj Mahal, drive race cars and go skydiving. And yes, there are some wild comedic scenes when two old men jump out of an airplane, for example, but it's the odd little moments that happen through the movie that hooked me.
They key moment for me were the two questions that Morgan Freeman's character asks Jack Nicholson's character.

Have you found the joy of your life and have you brought joy to others? 

           In the middle of all the things they did from their bucket list, these two questions are the real point of the movie.
           What great questions!
        Have I found the joy of my life? Oh I can answer a resounding yes to that one. There are several joys in my life - and none of them relate to things or money. My wife, my children, my grandson, my students and the worlds most perfect dog, Millie the Wonder Dog - any one of these, when thought on bring joy like nothing else. This one aspect of the movie caused me to remember that in the darkest times of my life, the people I love and those that love me are what pulled me through. Not the infusion of extra money, not a good job - relationships. And I include my dog in this list. Those that have a dog know what I mean when I start gushing on and on about Millie - those that don't get it... well, can't help you there.
          Have I brought joy to others? Pretty presumptuous of me to say yes to this, but according to my father, it's impossible NOT to bring joy into others lives. To some you bring joy simply by arriving... and to others you bring joy by leaving....ok, ok - of course I am joking. But that is a question only others can answer about me. So I will leave it there.
         So... I decided to write my bucket list. And I can't. I really can't. I mean - come on... think about it. I have been married for almost 35 years to someone who knows me COMPLETELY and still wakes up in the same house with me every day.  I have two children who have married well, and are pursuing God and His will for their life. I have the absolutely most incredible grandson in the world who calls out "Boppa!" every time he sees me. I have a dog who day after day thinks that the best thing in her universe is to sit next to me on the couch every night when I get home. Every day I get to get up and go somewhere to teach music to some of the most talented and appreciative kids on the planet. And as if all THAT isn't enough, I get to play guitar every day of my life. There is nothing in my life that I find myself longing for. Nothing. I have pretty much lived my bucket list. Now - this doesn't mean I am getting ready to kick the proverbial bucket... but I honestly cannot think of anything to add to my life that isn't already in it. God, friends, family, music...my dog...nothing left to add. No desire to skydive, climb Mt Everest, or meet someone famous.
A great movie. I'm gonna watch it again.
Mr G

Day 14: Pooped

Whew!!! Longest day of the week. I teach nine consecutive guitar classes on Tuesdays at Timothy Ministries from 8 am on... finishing at 5 pm. The classes average 8 to 9 students each. I love each class, because it gives me the opportunity to watch out for the "prairie dogs" amongst the students. Kids attend these guitar classes for a variety of reasons. Some are there to try out the guitar to see if it might be what they want to do, musically. It's not for everybody, so they are checking it out. For others, it is more of a social opportunity to be with their friends. As these are home-schooled kids, this is very important for them. Then there's a group of kids whose faces light up whenever they have a guitar in their hands. They're not hard to miss. They are my "prairie dogs". They are the ones whose heads pop up when they hear a new lick or guitar sound that they think is cool. They are the ones who look like they have a guitar surgically implanted in their hands. They have discovered that the guitar is destined (I would say "pre-destined", being a closet Presbyterian myself, but I digress) to be an important part of their lives.
So there you have it. Three groups of kids, each group with a different agenda. Each with different needs. And if you kept count, you are probably noticing that for two of the three groups of kids, guitar isn't a real big thing to them. And these three groups are spread out among all my classes. In each class I will have the social butterflies, alongside of those who are experimenting with the guitar and are not sure if they even want this thing, and then each class seems to have one of my "prairie dogs" - those who are sold out to this instrument.

So you can see the dance I have to dance. How do I meet the needs of these three different groups? This used to frustrate the stew out of me. I would be on this little pedestal in my mind saying "I am on this planet to teach guitar..." and then I would look at the student there for more social reasons and say (in my mind) "why are you even here? this is a guitar class!!!!!" Oh man... the arrogance of the ignorant... I suffered from that affliction, and it is no fun. At the end of the day I would be frustrated and ready to quit.

But not today.
What's the difference?

Well.... I am a big proponent of something called the Sovereignty of God. Without waxing too theological, let it suffice that this means I believe God is charge of EVERY circumstance in my life. But theology is no good if it can't be applied, so over the years I have been applying the Sovereignty of God to more and more areas of my life.  Applying it to this dilemma proved to be a very humbling experience. Here's how it played out.

I think I am on this planet to teach guitar. Isn't that what God has me doing? Yup. Yet - 2/3 of the guitar students I have are not there primarily for guitar. That HAS to mean - that is if I REALLY believe in His Sovereignty - that He has ordained that 2/3 of all my students are not going to get overly excited about guitar. So if I am going to walk in integrity, I have to bow to His Sovereignty in this, and realize that I need to stop being stiff-necked and try to meet the needs of these different groups. Yes - it is STILL a guitar class, and we do learn the guitar. There are lessons, licks, chords and songs to learn. But if I am observant I will use this knowledge that these three groups exist and look for ways to connect with these kids, while throwing guitar knowledge their way. The fact that these groups are there in my class is all the proof I need that God wants me to deal with them, and not ignore them.

Here is a case in point - every year I will get a student who is a little odd, socially awkward - a little off-beam. I remember specifically being reminded by God one year that the reason that child was in my class was because my class was a safe place for him. You see, being a strange kid in a crowd of kids is hard. I know - I was one of them. There were few sanctuaries for me where I felt safe while growing up. One was my home. And one was the band room at school. Isn't THAT a coincidence? My band teacher - Mr Hope - ensured that his classroom was a safe place for all of his kids. And his legacy is passed to me. My classroom is a safe place. It has become a place where kids are safe.. from other kids, and safe enough to talk to me about so many things. I am in awe.

So yes - I teach guitar. But no longer do I see this as the end of what I do. Rather it is the vehicle that God uses to get me in contact with so many different kinds of kids. And there is so much ministry taking place now that could not happen when I stomped my foot and said "I am a guitar teacher!!!!!! ". I am NOT a guitar teacher. I am simply a teacher. Who has a guitar in his hand. Who has over a half-century of experiences to draw on for advice when asked. Who is in awe of this thing called the Sovereignty of God. Who is so pooped right now. But what a day. What a glorious day.

Blessings!
Mr G

Day 13: The Warrior

Heard Jeff Baer preach this last Sunday at Cornerstone in Cartersville. He said one thing that sent my head spinning and to be honest, I do not remember much of what he preached on after that. It was one of those moments when you hear something REALLY important ... and it's from God... and it's for YOU...NOW. 
Well - that is what happened. Jeff mentioned how he misses people talking about "praying through" - i.e. praying until you hear a definitive answer from God; persevering in spite of everything life is throwing at you. He shared a story about how he determined to pray until something was done to bring deliverance to someone he loved who was very ill. This was all in a prelude to the bulk of his sermon. I am sure the sermon was a good one. But you would have to get someone else to confirm that, because the second he finished this story, I zoned out and felt REALLY compelled to go to Ephesians ch 6 and read about the picture Paul the Apostle drew to describe the life-attitude the Christian should wear as we walk through this life. The phrase that caught my mind is found after Paul describes the enemy we Christians face. He tells us to put on the whole armor of God so we can do battle with this enemy... and then the statement that caught my eye..."..and having done all, to stand." And for the next 30 minutes or so, I read and re-read this passage in Ephesians 6 and letting my sometimes overly vivid imagination go as I thought on that phrase..."...and having done all, to stand." 

...having done all to stand... Picture the Roman soldier...exhausted beyond measure, hardly able to even hold his sword, fellow soldiers fallen, left and right... He hears the clarion call of the enemies horns of war, and he stiffens, looking to the hills over which the enemy army will momentarily swarm. There is hardly anyone left to resist the enemy's next charge. But the soldier lifts his head. His moment of death is near, but he will not let the enemy see fear or cowardice in him. When the enemy hits him this one last time he will see him eye to eye. The enemy flies over the hill, to crush and destroy this last stand of this army of believer-warriors. The enemy is closer...closer... The soldier and his few remaining comrades stand still, swords and shields at the ready, facing their impending death as soldiers should. Shoulder to shoulder, shield to shield.
The enemy is almost upon them - swords lifted, they face the enemy horde.
Out of nowhere, a different horn sounds - a clear, powerful and majestic sound.The sound of thundering hooves is heard over the screams of the enemy. 
Through the broken ranks of His believers, the Lords angelic host fall on the enemy. The enemies cry of triumph turns to a cry of terror and frustration as they fall before the Lord and His warrior angels.


This is the mini-movie scene that flashed thru my brain as I read this passage. See? I told you I had a vivid imagination. 
But isn't this a picture of real life? Everyone in life will experience a time of having to face imminent destruction. Maybe it's finances - perhaps you have lost your job and all your money and you are going through bankruptcy. Perhaps you are getting ready to face the death of someone you love, or perhaps you have already lost someone you hold dear - a parent, a child or a spouse. We are talking about events here that crush and threaten to destroy you. Not unlike that Roman soldier who has fought off the enemy again and again, only to see the enemy horde attacking... again. He doesn't know where he will find the strength to even lift his sword, but he does. It may be all he can do, but he WILL stand. If he dies, he will not give the enemy the pleasure of seeing him grovel. He will stand and face him eye to eye. He has done all he could do... now he stands. Defiant. Determined. Standing.


Years ago, I lost my job, all of my life savings, and my father.... within 6 months of each other. I understand being crushed. I WAS crushed. Nearly destroyed. What did I do? Got up and went to work. My brand new daughter-in-law asked me - "where are you going?" I said "to work."
"But Mr. Garwood, you don't have a job..." I replied - "I know." And I left. I left home and went to the local music store. I asked them if they needed a music teacher. They said yes. Cool. But I had no students. Folks - I won't say this was an easy time. It wasn't. I was crushed. I was terrified. But even with no students, I was there when that store opened its doors. I set up a music stand in the guitar section of the store, and I would practice. All day. Every hour between 10:00 am and 6:00 pm. Monday through Friday. I would answer questions about the guitars on the walls, and help people make their purchases. I received no commission from the store for any of this. What in the world was I doing? I was standing. I was that soldier, almost no strength left. No income. But I was standing. I didn't let anyone in that store know I was broke. I didn't want sympathy. I needed deliverance. So I stood in the face of my certain destruction, ready for it, even accepting the fact that soon I would probably be completely destroyed. The enemy was that close. But I went to work. I was standing. One by one, I started to get some students. That first year, I made $11,000.00. Total. Our break-even point was $21,000. Where did that extra 10 grand come from? Some from a very tiny teaching job my wife had, but the rest? Can't begin to tell you.  But I will tell you this - I am still here. It is 11 years later, my wife and I are building an increasingly successful music teaching business, we are purchasing a house that is more beautiful than I would have ever dreamed, and.... I am still here. As in my vivid little movie scene described above, the Lord delivered me. Like in my little vignette above, the enemy has been pushed back and I am still swinging.


But here is the point I NEED you to know. I didn't stay standing knowing the Lord would deliver me. Frankly, I didn't know if He would or not. But I was angry. I was determined that I would not be a coward. I felt like shouting just like the three children of Israel did so long ago.."Know this, o king - Our God is able to deliver us. But if He does not  - We will NOT bow our knee to you." I like that attitude... they were my example.


Having done all.... I stood.  


God may or may not deliver you when you think He should. He is not a general under our command to be ordered this way or that. No - it is the other way around. We are the soldiers in HIS army, under HIS command. And our orders are clear. Put on ALL the armor. And when the time comes that you have done all you can.... stand.


Ok - NOW read Ephesians chapter 6.
Mr G